


Two Months

by sassybellamyblake



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Endgame Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, F/M, Flirting, Heart-to-Heart, Hospital Scenes, Post Season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 05:50:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7031626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassybellamyblake/pseuds/sassybellamyblake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two months. It has been two months since Clarke spilled her guts out to Bellamy after drinking too much one night. She doesn’t remember the walk to his room but she sure as hell doesn’t forget the look on his face as she practically yelled “I have feelings for you” in the silent halls of Arkadia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Months

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is my first attempt at writing fanfic so please forgive my mistakes. I would love to hear feedback and don't be afraid to be harsh, all criticism is welcome. But, I really do like the story and I hope you guys do too. Thanks

Two months. It has been two months since Clarke spilled her guts out to Bellamy after drinking too much one night. She doesn’t remember the walk to his room but she sure as hell doesn’t forget the look on his face as she practically yelled "I have feelings for you" in the silent halls of Arkadia.

　

　

The months after their victory over ALIE were complete torture for Clarke. She and Bellamy had been spending so much time together trying to save the world. Clarke kept finding herself staring too long as his arms and getting lost in imagining what his lips would feel and taste like as he was telling her important things about their missions. She didn’t know when it started, but she also knew there was no stopping it now. She decided she was to suffer in silence as they made plans to fix the nuclear power plants problem.

However, her drunken self had betrayed her plans. She and Bellamy had decided to get drinks after a long night of planning. He was drinking to forget the end of the world looming over their heads; she was drinking to forget how good his ass looked in the pants he was wearing. They shared some laughs as they took a few shots. Bellamy was all for drinking, but not to the point of getting drunk. Clarke, on the other hand, was determined to get the unholy thoughts she was having of Bellamy Blake out of her head. It wasn’t until she was banging on his door at 2 in the morning that she realized this plan had completely backfired.

Bellamy opened his door wearing only a pair of sweat pants. *Shit* is all Clarke could think as this man that she wanted to kiss more than anything stood in his doorway and spoke in his raspier than normal voice.

"Clarke, what are you doing?", Bellamy asked as he stepped into the hallway.

Clarke was more than a bit tipsy so her words spewed out faster and louder than she anticipated.

"Bellamy, I have feelings for you."

At her words Bellamy’s entire body wakes up. His back straightens, eyes widen, and jaw clenches in an annoyingly cute way.

"Clarke, your drunk. You should go to your room."

"No, I think you should tell me how you feel."

Bellamy takes a deep breath and whispers, "Not like this. Not when there’s a chance you won’t remember this tomorrow."

Bellamy walks Clarke home to make sure she doesn’t get in trouble or declare her hidden feelings to anybody else.

The next morning, Clarke remarkably remembers everything, except the walk to Bellamy’s room, that happened the night before. She is so fucking embarrassed. How could she tell Bellamy, the only person that she can’t live without, that she has feelings for him? As she remembers more and more of the conversation, she remembers what he said. What kind of bullshit is ‘Not like this’, like what does that even mean?

　

　

This time Clarke remembers walking to Bellamy’s door. Images of him standing in his doorway shirtless start to creep back into Clarke’s brain until her thoughts are interrupted by the door swinging open. By the look on his face, Bellamy wasn’t expecting the person at his door to be Clarke. However, he pushes the door open and gestures for her to come inside.

Clarke’s heart is pounding at this point. Why is she here? What is she expecting to happen? Does he always look this fucking good in the morning? *Shit, Clarke, get it together*. Clarke decides to break this unbearable, deafening silence.

"So, um, about last night..."

"Clarke, we don’t have to talk about it."

"Yes, we do. What did you mean?"

"What?"

"When you said ‘Not like this’. What did you mean?"

At this question, Bellamy’s face drops. He feels the lump growing in his throat and doesn’t know how he is going to say this.

"Clarke, I am about to say things that you may not want to hear and I don’t want to say, but can you just sit there and listen before you freak out?"

"I mean I came here to get answers so whatever you want to say, just say it."

Clarke was trying to act like she wasn’t completely and utterly terrified about what Bellamy was going to say. But she was the one that drunkenly admitted her feelings to her best friend, not thinking that they would have any repercussions. Clarke snaps back to reality as Bellamy opens his mouth to speak.

"Clarke, on the walk back to Arkadia after defeating Mount Weather, I was thinking about a lot of things. I was thinking about everything that we had been through. You know, surviving the drop, becoming co-leaders, not dying from the virus, fighting and beating the grounders, finding each other back at camp, and then defeating the mountain men. All these things had begun to weigh on me as I watched you walk in front of me. I know this may sound horrible considering we just killed so many people, but all I could think of was your hand. When I put my hand on top of yours, I wasn’t expecting to feel anything. But I did. I felt like everything made sense for once. Like no matter what shit was going to come our way, we would survive it together."

Bellamy stopped to gather his thoughts and to try to subdue the look of pain on his face.

"My hand felt so empty and heavy that entire walk home. Like it was missing something. The palm of my hand was aching at the memory of your touch. It took me a while to figure that out, but I did and it scared the shit out of me. I tried to push these thoughts out of my head but you were walking right in front of me, making it hard not to let my mind (and eyes) wander. I thought about holding your hand, like actually holding it. Then I thought about kissing you and waking up next to you in the mornings, and dammit I wanted that. I decided right then and there that I wanted you, not for a night or a fling. I wanted it all. I was all in."

Clarke can feel her eyes start to tear up and her heart start to ache at the thought of this fantasy, this perfect dream. But Bellamy cut her thoughts short.

"That’s why I was so angry at you for leaving. I had a plan, Clarke. I planned to tell you how I felt. I didn’t know when I was going to tell you or what the hell I was going to say, but I was going to say it anyway. I wanted the moment to be right and for us to be better after what we did. But you left. You walked away without thinking about what I needed or wanted. That hurt. It was the worst pain I have ever felt. I was crushed and heartbroken, but I replaced the pain with anger. I’m not angry anymore and I’ve told you that, but the pain is still there. I was ready to be all in and you left without hesitation. Granted, you didn’t know how I felt, but you still left me. I guess what I am trying to say is that I’m still trying to figure out those feelings again. They’re still there, but I don’t know if I can do that again. I can’t feel like that and then watch you walk away again. I am scared that if I bring those feeling back up and you leave again, I won’t be able to forgive you."

At this point, Clarke’s whole body was numb. The tears that we welling up had begun to run down her cheeks. She had no idea that Bellamy felt any of this. She knew he was angry, but she would have never guessed it was because he was ready to tell her his feelings on the day that she abandoned him and their people. Clarke was so preoccupied with her racing thoughts that she didn’t even notice when Bellamy joined her on the bed and wrapped her in a tight hug.

Bellamy was trying to comfort Clarke as everything that he told her sunk in. He never meant to hurt her and he feels terrible that his confession is making her cry. He hated to see her upset. He began to lean closer into their hug and cradled the back of her neck. Suddenly, Clarke pushes off him and looks at him utterly confused.

"Then what did you mean by ‘Not like this’?"

Bellamy couldn’t help but laugh at her sudden composure and the confused look in her eye.

"I meant that I wasn’t having _that_ conversation with your drunk ass at 2 in the morning."

They both laugh and Clarke leans back into Bellamy’s chest, sliding her arms around his waist.

"Bellamy, are we going to be alright?"

Clarke didn’t mean for the fear that she felt to be heard in her question, but she couldn’t stop it either.

"Yeah, I think we’ll be just fine. I just need some time to figure things out and to save the world. That’s another reason why I want to wait."

"What is?"

"I want you to want to be with me because you want me, not because the world as we know it might end."

"Are you crazy? You think that’s why I want you? As a fling before the possible end of the world?"

"No, but I want to be absolutely sure about your intentions. Plus, I don’t want a couple of romantic months before our death because that wouldn’t be enough time. I am selfish, so if I got even a little bit of you, there’s no way in hell I would be willing to let you go."

Clarke has to physically stop herself from grabbing his face and kissing him. Bellamy Blake is the most important person in her life and she wants to be in this with him. She wants to give him the time he needs to be able to trust her with his heart again. But she is damn sure gonna make it hard to resist her knowing that he has thought about it.

　

　

So here we are, two months after her drunken confession lead to a heart to heart that was long overdue. Clarke and Bellamy have been spending a lot of time together, making his ‘not before saving the world rule’ that much harder. They have made a game of who will break first. Clarke is losing by a lot. She can’t help the fact that she accidently walked in on him after he had gotten out of the shower. She had gotten so used to not knocking, so when she barged in on him in nothing but a towel, the game was pretty much over. She had seen the perfect abs on his torso, the glorious v that his hip bones made, the trail of hair that lead down to the still mysterious body part, and the muscles on his back as he turned to shield his half naked body from her curious eyes. And the fact that he was wet was not even fair.

Clarke tried to make the game more even by rubbing up against him as much as possible. He soon caught on to her motives and began to use her tactics against her. He would lean in close like he was going to kiss her, but instead he would grab something behind her. This drove Clarke crazy. She wanted Bellamy in all ways, but mostly she just wanted to kiss him. She wanted there to be no more imagining his lips. She needed to know what they felt like.

Time passed by quickly after their plans to stop the nuclear power plants were finished and they began to strategize how they would execute them. During this time, Bellamy and Clarke decided to take a break so they could both really think about their relationship and make sure it is what they wanted. Clarke had no doubt in her mind that she wanted Bellamy, but she was scared that he still didn’t fully trust her. She knew she could never leave him again, but does he know that?

The group had been so busy in the last few months that they had forgotten about the threat right outside their doors; the grounders. It had been so long since the last grounder attack so no one was expecting it. Clarke definitely didn’t expect this attack to change her life so much.

When she heard that someone in Arkadia was attacked by grounders, she immediately was scared for the entire camp. However, when she heard the whispers of who was attacked, she became frozen in her place as the realization of the name put this unbearable ache in her heart and stomach.

_Bellamy Blake._

As Clarke came back to reality, she was already sprinting to the infirmary. As she was getting to the doors of her mothers work place, they were carrying Bellamy’s limp body to a bed. He was unconscious but still breathing. Clarke didn’t realize she was sobbing and her knees were buckling until Raven came up and caught her from falling hard to the ground. Clarke felt like the wind had been knocked out of her and the blood had been drained from her body.

The hours passed so slow as the doctors, including Clarke’s mother, Abby, tried to save Bellamy’s life. Clarke had finally caught her breath, but the tears never stopped flowing. All of their friends waited out in the hall. It was weird for Clarke to behave like this in front of them, only because Bellamy and her had agreed to keep their relationship, or whatever it was, a secret. On some level Clarke knew they all saw what Bellamy and she had way before either of them were aware, but no one had ever said anything to them.

When Abby finally came out to deliver the news, Clarke could feel the panic begin to spread over her body again.

"The surgery was a success. We were able to stop the bleeding and repair the damage."

Clarke let out a loud breath that was painted with her feelings of relief.

Abby continued her doctor spiel on how he needed to rest and he couldn’t have any visitors. Clarke just looked at her mom with a clear look of pain in her eyes. Abby gave Clarke a slight nod, letting her know she could stay with him.

Seeing Bellamy in the hospital bed with all those machines hooked up to him made Clarke’s skin crawl. She hated this sight and was ready for him to wake up so she could see those beautiful brown eyes that could see into the deepest parts of her soul.

　

Ten days passed with no sign of Bellamy waking up. Clarke had been by his side the entire time, only leaving to shower and grab a new book from Bellamy’s collection. Abby kept telling her that everyday that he was unconscious, the chances of him waking up became less and less. Clarke knew that she couldn’t lose this man, but she never knew how much it would hurt if she ever did.

There were so many things that she wanted to say and do. She wanted to tell him that she was here and she’s not going anywhere. She wanted to hold his hand as they walked around Arkadia. She wanted to paint and draw his face a million times to make sure she got every perfect feature just right. She wanted kiss him. Oh god how she wanted to kiss him. She wanted to make love to him. She wanted to wake up every morning with him beside her. She wanted it all and so much more. In thinking of all the things she wants to do with her best friend, this man that saved her life time and time again, she realized she wanted to say what she never had the courage to say before.

_I love you._

Clarke desperately needed Bellamy to wake up. She needed to tell him that she was in love with him. She felt like she was going to explode with this confession that she knew to be true for a long time.

It was then that Bellamy began to seize. Thankfully there was a doctor in there checking his vitals at that time because Clarke froze. She was very educated in medicine and knew what to do, but the fact that it was Bellamy made Clarke’s mind go blank with fear. One of the other doctors ran in and escorted Clarke out of the room. She found a corner, sank into it and came undone. Clarke couldn’t take this pain for much longer. She needed Bellamy more than she needed anything. She couldn’t fathom a life without Bellamy Blake.

Abby explained to Clarke that Bellamy was fine after the seizure, but it was even more unlikely now for him to wake up.

　

　

The next three days passed in a blur. Clarke didn’t leave Bellamy’s side. She didn’t want to imagine losing him, but she also wanted to be there if he were to go.

Clarke had been falling in and out of sleep in the uncomfortable chair that had become her new bed, so when she heard his oh so familiar voice, she assumed she was dreaming. It wasn’t until he was grabbing her hand that she knew it was real.

As she opened her eyes, tears began to stream down her face. Clarke didn’t even think it was possible for her to have any tears left. She had cried for thirteen days straight, she was so sick of fucking crying. However, she welcomed this unfamiliar form of tears, tears of pure joy.

Bellamy looked into Clarke’s eyes as a big, goofy smile lit up his face. She was so happy to see him smile, but she also wanted to punch the smile off his face. She had just been through hell, almost losing him was too much for her. And here he is, awake and smiling as if he hadn’t almost died.

Clarke got over the urge to punch him and jumped off her chair and practically into his lap, minding the wound on his lower abdomen. She threw her arms, awkwardly, around his shoulders and put her head in the crease of his neck. This place was so familiar to her at this point. This place was her home.

A few minutes passed as they sat in his hospital bed, just holding each other. When they finally let go, Clarke gave him this serious look, a look that could kill.

"What?"

"Don’t you ever scare me like that again."

"I don’t plan on it, princess."

Clarke rolled her eyes at the old nickname.

"Bellamy, I was so scared. The thought of losing yo-"

"Hey, I’m not going anywhere. You really think a little stab wound is going to take me out? No way in hell I would let that be my end."

Clarke couldn’t help but smile. She knew he was joking to make her feel better, but she also knew what he was saying was laced with truth. Bellamy Blake is a lot of things, but stubborn tops the list.

After a couple of days in the infirmary under constant watch, Bellamy was allowed to go back to his room. The only condition was that he had to stay in bed and someone had to be there with him to take care of him. Clarke jumped at the opportunity.

　

　

Clarke hated to admit that she loved taking care of Bellamy. She had always loved medicine and knew that’s what she would have studied on the Ark. She also loved that he had to remove his shirt so she could clean his wound and replace the bandages. She would tease him by brushing her hands on the bare skin over his abs, acting as if she wasn’t doing it on purpose. She could tell that it had an effect on him; he takes in a short, harsh breath, as his body stiffens. Although Clarke was doing this to tease Bellamy, his reaction to her touch made her want to jump his bones.

Bellamy knew he was ready. He was ready to be with her. He had always known that he was in love with Clarke Griffin, but now he could trust her again. He could trust her with his heart and know that she wouldn’t leave. So now it was just a waiting game. He wanted to be fully healed when he made his move. If the situation were to become sexual, Bellamy wanted to be able to fully deliver.

 

 

The next month and a half consisted of Bellamy and Clarke spending every second together. She slept in his room, even though it was completely unnecessary. One night Clarke was awake, watching Bellamy sleep, when he began to toss and turn and talk in his sleep. Clarke new what was happening. She had been woken up so many nights going through the same motions as him. The nightmares get to be too much and Bellamy jolts awake. By the time he is sitting up in his panicked state, Clarke is with him on the bed. She grabs his face, bringing him back to reality.

"Hey, you’re ok, its ok, everything is fine."

Bellamy begins to apologize, but Clarke is not having that.

"I’m sorry yo-"

"Hey, no, none of that. There’s nothing to be sorry about. They’re just nightmares. I get them too."

They sit there for awhile, talking about their nightmares and what they see, _who_ they see.

After their talk is over, Clarke starts to get out of the bed. She wasn’t expecting to feel Bellamy’s huge had grab at her tiny wrist, stopping her from moving any further. Clarke has been sleeping in his room for weeks, but has been sleeping in the second bed. When she turned her head, Bellamy just had a shy smile on his face. Clarke didn’t even wait for an explanation, there was no need for one. She slid into his bed, wrapping herself in his blanket, then wrapping herself in him. It didn’t take long for either of them to fall asleep. This was new to them, easily falling asleep. They were so used to the insomnia and night terrors that a good nights sleep was just a concept. But that night, and every night after this, they slept like they had no worries in the world, like they weren’t in constant danger.

　

　

Bellamy and Clarke had worked so hard on the plans for the power plants, but didn’t get to really help execute them. Abby would’ve cleared Bellamy for work, but Clarke begged her not to. Clarke was so used to being the heroine, to save the day, and every single time, Bellamy was right beside her. She wanted to be out there, in the action, getting her hands dirty. She also wanted to lay in bed with her head on Bellamy’s chest, listening to his heart beat as he read. She knew that this couldn’t last forever, so she might as well take advantage of every moment that she can.

The group executed the plans perfectly, saving all of them from death yet again. Clarke felt bad as she watched Bellamy’s face light up as Raven explained, in too much detail, how they managed to pull it off, but not too bad because she got to cuddle Bellamy for hours without any interruptions or jumping out of the bed every time someone knocked on the door.

　

　

The day that Bellamy was cleared to go back to work is the same day he decides to tell Clarke. He doesn’t know why he is so nervous. They have been sharing a bed for weeks and spending all their free time, which was a lot, together. So why in the hell is he so scared? His heart is racing, palms sweating, legs shaking, and the knot in his stomach keeps growing. But he doesn’t care about any of it, he just wants to be with Clarke. He _needs_ to be with her.

Later that night as Bellamy walked into his room, Clarke was already there, standing in the middle of the room. He’s confused by this. She’s usually in the bed by the time he gets to the room after his late night strolls through the camp.

"Clarke, what are you doing?"

"I don’t know. I didn’t know if you wanted me to go back to my room since I don’t need to be here anymore."

"Like hell you don’t. I need you here. I can’t remember the last time I slept this good. Anyway, I want you here."

At this statement Clarke lifts her eyes to meet Bellamy’s. She’s surprised to meet the hungry, ravenous eyes that are somewhat unfamiliar. She has seen them before, but not like this, not in a controlled setting and without her testing his self-control. She is ready for whatever comes with those eyes.

Bellamy didn’t realize that during his little ‘I need you’ speech, he had moved closer to Clarke. He was close enough to grab her, but he wanted to make sure that’s what she wanted. It was. Clarke didn’t wait for Bellamy to make the first move, she was tired of waiting. His eyes said he felt the same, that he was ready for this. Clarke grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him into her, Bellamy didn’t fight this at all.

When their mouths finally met, the world began to spin. Clarke wrapped her hands behind his neck as he pulled her up on her tiptoes, closing the remaining space between them. Clarke was glad that he was holding her, otherwise she might’ve fallen. As the kiss grew longer, the more passionate it became. Clarke had finally figured out what his lips felt and tasted like, now she was never letting them go.

That night was the best night of both their lives. Neither one of them are strangers when it comes to sex, but they also didn’t know how amazing it could be with the right person.

The next morning, they both wake up with huge, goofy smiles on their faces. They both got to wake up next to the person they were in love with, the person that they can’t live without, knowing how the other looked naked (which was pretty fucking good).

"So what should we do now?" Clarke asks.

Bellamy raises his eyebrows, slowly looking Clarke up and down. This makes Clarke’s entire body heat up, making her muscles spasm with anticipation.

Bellamy leans in, kisses from her clavicle to the area right beneath her ear. He gives a little nibble on the lobe of her ear.

He whispers into her ear, "I think we should go get breakfast."

With one swift motion, Bellamy hops off the bed, extending his hand out to help Clarke up. She glares at him while she takes his hand.

"You know you’re a total ass half of the time?"

"I’m more than aware. Some girl told me while sitting under a tree after almost getting killed."

Clarke can’t help but let out a laugh at the mention of the night that seems so long ago.

As they walked to the eating area of the Arkadia, Clarke began to think about how much their relationship has changed. She remembers how much she used to dislike him, but it seems almost unreal that she ever felt that way. She smiles at how far they’ve come from the days at the dropship. She knows that they live in a shitty place where danger is always lurking just outside of their walls. But Clarke doesn’t care. She knows that she has Bellamy. That’s all she will ever need.


End file.
